Lately, it’s become fashionable to talk about the rag-tag appearance of the Sox. Jerry Crasnick wrote a piece that alternated between loving their goofiness and tut-tutting, calling the team
“a Kafka-esque parade of screwballs, wingnuts and fun-loving frat boys who are fixated on hair as a means of self-expression.”
(The article is ESPN Insider-only, but you can get the main gist from the first few paragraphs.) Meanwhile, in today’s Boston Globe, Dan Shaughnessy, the self-described Curly-Haired Boyfriend, writes about the team’s appearance, but heck, the aura is so good around Boston that even Shaughnessy can’t find it in himself to be mean. Compare this to the last time Shaughnessy wrote about the similarities between his and Pedro’s hair, when he wrote in a much less flattering light:
“Personally, I think it’s Pedro’s new Shaughnessy hairstyle that might be messing him up, but whatever is going on, Martinez needs to get back on track”
For me, the interesting part about the article on the Sox’s follicular follies are Theo Epstein’s words:
“Let’s say we had a policy requiring haircuts and no facial hair. The benefits would be uniformity, discipline, and perhaps a heightened sense of order. But we’d lose individuality, self-expression, and fun. Given our personalities, our players thrive when they’re allowed to be themselves and have fun.”
I think it’s funny that Theo actually sounds like he did a cost-benefit analysis of letting hair grow out on his team. There’s probably a regression analysis of World Series success to hair length floating around the bowels of Fenway Park, with Oakland’s 1970s teams helping to raise the Hair Efficiency Ratio. But, to drag up an old quote, here’s Brad Mills, Terry Francona’s college teammate on meeting Francona for the first time:
He had hair way down past his shoulders, red Chuck Taylor hightop sneakers on, long cutoff jeans all raggedy, and a T-shirt on. I mean, your first thought is, ‘Holy smokes.’
So it’s probably not like Tito really has the desire to do anything about this team’s appearance. (The U of Arizona did make Tito get all neat. Maybe he’s still scarred by the experience. Or jealous that these people still have hair.) They really are the sons of Tito Francona…