Sometimes it’s funnier to read a game report in translation:
The emergent batter David McCarty connected an impelling triple of two races that broke the deadlock the party and the Dominican Pedro Martinez poncho to 11 so that the Red Averages of Boston last night overcame 5-3 to the Indians of Cleveland.
Alan Tars (1-0) was the winning serpentinero in spite of allowing to a solitary home run to Victor Martinez in the eighth, only the unstoppable one that allowed. Keith Foulke closed in the ninth for his seventh rescue.
Yeah, go Red Averages! And how about that serpentinero (which is one heck of a cool thing to be called, actually) Alan Tars? Proving that wins by relievers are sometimes more luck than anything else. And it’s nice to see Pedro’s 11 ponchos, and to see that baseball brain consider his pitch count and amazingly just up and decide to be a crafty pitcher rather than a power pitcher. Still, what’s up with Pedro and first innings?
Around the horn with this translation gag:
Astros 6, Marlins 1: Extinguished the attack of the Marlins was led by the Puerto Rican receiver Ramon I castrate, who took near the left garden in the second episode, in the only error of Clemens in the party.
Ooh, I like a party too! Even if Clemens at a party would probably just talk about his workout routine and insist everyone join in. But if you go to the party, better watch out near the left garden… Ramon castrates!
Anaheim: In another order, the dream of Columbus, is to have to Pedro Martinez to its side in a same equipment. “it would really be a great satisfaction that my Pedro friend plays for us”, he indicated.
There’s some real news here, although somewhat minor - Bartolo Colon wants Pedro in Anaheim. But translating his last name so that he now has the “dream of Columbus” gives a nice mythic ring to it.
Ah, Google translations.