The Early Years (2002-2005)

Talk about getting pumped up for a trial - this judge was caught using ah, ahem, “male enhancement pump” in a court room. Also, the New York Times Magazine has a piece on how consumers perceive that products that hurt must be effective. (In this case, the product is Lip Venom, which supposedly produces the bee-stung lip look.) That’s why original Listerine has that medicinal taste - or so one hears.

Proving that it’s truly independent of its Microsoft ownership, Slate runs a piece trumping the virtues of Firefox over Internet Explorer. And about time, too - the word needs to get out. Less security holes, no annoying pop-ups and I can’t remember the last time my home page was hijacked to become some ridiculous advertiser’s page. And I can’t live without tabbed browsing anymore.

Oh, and since my posting may be somewhat intermittent for the next week, I thought I’d entertain y’alls by dragging out old stuff I’ve written back when this was a website, not a blog. So here’s my list of greatest one-hit wonders, written back in 2001… will rack my brains for possible new additions to the list.

Posting may slow in the next few days as I try to get my disorganised life in order… both the family home and the apartment under renovation, and my chores are piling up. But enough complaining: I should note that Baybeats looks interesting.

Picture of a sign at Singapore’s North-East Line. Just thinking about Bill Bryson’s point in Mother Tongue that the mashing of two words together in brand names was very 1990s (WordPerfect, PowerBook etc.), just as “-o-rama” was very 1950s. Maybe the idea was to sound like you were such a busy person you even rushed through spaces. :) So how long before the name “HarbourFront” appears dated?

I’m in a quiz-taking mood… this one’s results are hilarious, if sadly not that truthful… D Dreamy A Awesome R Rich Y Yummy L Luxurious Name / Username:

Talk about being sensitive to criticism: designer dies for curtain comment.

Interesting Singaporean blog watch: Popagandhi - good music taste, coverage of topics from tech to GLBT issues. These blogs, they comfort me. Set the gnomes free: Front de Libération des Nains de Jardins

You’re The Poisonwood Bible! by Barbara Kingsolver *Deeply rooted in a religious background, you have since become both isolated and schizophrenic. You were naively sure that your actions would help people, but of course they were resistant to your message and ultimately disaster ensued. Since you can see so many sides of the same issue, you are both wise beyond your years and tied to worthless perspectives. If you were a type of waffle, it would be Belgian.*

[10pm, and my favourite chapter name in the schemata.] Good time it is to revive Ulysses for Dummies or to see BBC’s Cheat’s Guide to Joyce’s Ulysses. Ah, reductio ad absurdum. But the Guardian’s Bloomsday blog is really quite stimulating, and it was lovely that even Google did a Joyce tribute.

[Bloomsday, 8pm - all entries written on my Palm in real time, and all posting times changed in the Ulysses entries to create some sense of Bloomsday] Unable to upload the photo as yet, but I passed by the Dubliner pub last night on the bus, so I thought I’d take a snapshot…

[7pm, between Cyclops and Nausikaa. Not from Barney Keirnan’s tavern, but food-related, anyway.] A shot of a receipt from Chatterbox restaurant, at the Mandarin Hotel. Took this photo because I love the way the phrase “NO CHOICE” is highlighted in red - stark, authoritarian, sums up the service quality found in a lot of Singapore, unfortunately. Very Soup Nazi: “NO SOUP FOR YOU!” Fortunately, Chatterbox itself has quite good service.

[3pm, chapter 10] No Liffey here, but the Singapore river is to the west of this location. Hill Street Centre, car park exit. Trying to figure out what happened here. My guess: someone lost their license plate driving out of the carpark, and some kind soul took it and put it among the plants, in a prominent location. Will the owner of car SCP9668U please get your license plate back?

[2pm, roughly, on Bloomsday; chapter 9, the Library chapter. Ulysses schemata available here.] My own Bloomsday has been mundane: awoke late, hit with the sun in my eye eliding through the flimsy curtain; the procession of the day continues. I spent my lunch hour (Lestrygonians, chaper 8, 1pm) foraging for the dimensions of a queen-size bed, hence found myself wandering with my bandaged, bloody toe into Robinsons, a man in sandals. Joy of joys, to find a salesman in Singapore who’s willing to help even when you say you just want information and you won’t buy today. 60’ x 75’, and indeed the service at the store is every bit as good as the loyal customers would have it. Right now good puzzle would be cross Singapore without passing a sale.

Let us honour the 100th anniversary of Bloomsday (16 June 1904). Ulysses is perhaps the greatest novel of all time; it certainly has my vote, swooping as it does from the personal to the metropolitan to the religious. And that final chapter is pure virtuosity.

Ugh. I forgot to mention that when I went for a haircut recently, I heard the most terrible song EVER. An English version of Jacky Cheung’s “Wen Bie”, by Michael Learns to Rock, with attendant execrable lyrics. It was the first time I ever wished the hairdresser would wash the shampoo into my ears. Hell, having the shampoo in my eyes would have been less painful.

(Warning: this review gives away spoilers on a turning point in the film. I’ll put an appropriate warning just before the spoilers.) Sometimes, someone flies in like a comet in your life, and the beauty of it is in the evanescence of the interaction. In Japanese Story, director Sue Brooks gives us a geologist named Sandy (Toni Collette), and a protagonist named Hiro (Gotaro Tsunashima). Their names may be obvious, but little else is about their characters: Tachibana Hiromitsu (to use his full name) is the straight-laced, buttoned-down product of Japanese cultural norms and stifling family business, while Sandy is the hard-as-nails geologist. No hearts on sleeves here. There’s obviously more to the two main characters, of course. Collette does a wonderful job of depicting Sandy visibly softening as she gets into contact with Hiro. Collette’s face, looking upon Hiro emerging from the water, is a wonder of multiple emotions: curiosity, aesthetic appreciation of his body, archness. And Hiro clearly has reserves - an offhand reference to a Mayan temple, for one - that are untapped (geology metaphor deliberate).

Badger Flash animations slay me! There’s football badgers and my (and the Girlfriend’s) favourite, Bananaphone.

RIP Ray Charles.

Also, the Girlfriend has given me permission to mention her in this blog, as long as she isn’t named. Yay! We checked out the almost brand spankin’ new hip-hop night at Cocco Latte last weekend, at the Gallery Hotel. Until midnight the warm-up DJ was playing mostly old school rap - I (train-)spotted tunes by Kurtis Blow (the classic “The Breaks”), KRS-One, Biz Markie. There was even some old-school funk (Charles Wright’s “Express Yourself”) and R&B (Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You”), plus the uncategorisable Michael Viner’s Incredible Bongo Band’s “Apache”, which is such a great song. Not her scene, unfortunately, and she wasn’t going to wait around till the dance floor filled out with more conventional tunes, so we left early. But we’ll be back.