Since there’s been much talk about blogging properly, here’s my easy guide for n00bies on blogging etiquette:
- Always bow before you blog.
- When you blog, do remember that the knife goes in the right hand, and the fork in the left.
- Always end your posts with “thank you, it’s been wonderful talking to all of you. Godspeed.”
- Polite bloggers NEVER use the words “asshat” or “aardvark”. Whether “sexy motherf***er” can be said in polite company remains a matter of much contention. Particularly on the question of how to pronounce asterisks.
- The proper way to end a first blog is with a little kiss. No tongue.
- And, especially, no tongue down there.
- Remember, if you forget which keys to use, a simple little memory trick is that you should start from the outside and work your way inside. Hence, posts like “poiuy!” are the height of decorum.
- When someone visits your blog, be sure to offer drinks.
- If you are a male blogger and said visitor is female, please remember to raise your hat when the visitor enters your blog.
- Yes, you must have a hat.
Thank you. It’s been wonderful talking to all of you. Godspeed.