Ray Baumgardner has a funny theory about China’s gift of pandas to Taiwan:
China makes noises like they want to invade Taiwan and then they offer them a pair of pandas. It doesn’t make sense. Unless…these pandas aren’t really pandas at all. They are Trojan Pandas.
…
Gifts my ass. These pandas are communist spies. Their evil communist overlords have probably developed high tech listening devices in panda suppository form. Cute little Ling-Ling is a 21st century Mata Hari. When she has a baby panda, the Chinese always make us give the baby back. The commies know that if that panda grows up in a free country it will naturally turn on its parents, become a double agent, and blow the lid off their whole spy ring. They need that baby panda back so they can train it to spy on another country.
I love the idea of a Trojan Panda. Those black masks they wear - they don’t fool anyone.
Cue excuse to put up adorable picture of baby panda:
